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Written by: Raviena
Love you, Ravy. <3
"On August the 20th, the universe was gifted with a not-so-average coffee drinking, Oreo eating hippie. Maria Victoria Tinio, her mother called her. Such a beautiful name, and also a bit tad mouthful, and because of that, she huffed at her mother and demanded people to call her Ria or they shall face her mighty power.
She spent the last 15 years growing up and experimenting with life, far away from daisies and pink confetti in the warm-weathered Philippines. Harassing her fellow schoolmates in between classes, throwing paper drawing plane at Billy Martin and ogling at little creatures like hamsters and such are among the things she does.
Ask her who is her favorite band of movie, she'll probably just squeal loudly and say 'Roof!' or glare reproachfully and growl in a very Derek Bloom like way. Conor is love and Gerard's ass is strikingly attractive, nuff' said. God gave her the talent to write and draw, and He was right to do so. Speaking of God, you will sometime see Matthew Good, her alter ego, who by the way owes me a puppy and a piggy ride.
She's prissy when it comes to people, especially posers and preps. They're just reprehensible, shit reeking, piteously naive barbaris, and I meant every bad word. She loves her friends, and would definitely kill for them, which is cool. When she walks down a road, people look at her and go, 'Yo, who's she eh? She's freaky and that ain't banging.' Under the black eyeliner, black hair and black clothes, she is banging. Head shaking, muttering under her breath observing the society, she is so much more than banging.
She's acute and wise despite her age. Short in length, but long in knowledge, I'd say. Normal and ordinary doesn't exist in her dictionary, though 'Spoo', 'AnyGerardWay' and 'Flippy' does. She's downright bizzare, sarcastic, obsessed with the lovely Julian Casablancas and had a deranged cat that pooped on her Converse recently. Typical teenager? Typical hormonal changes? Typical unbalanced cat? Not at all. That's Ria, and that's all there is to it.
I may not know exactly what her first word was, or what her first hoodie was because I, unfortunately, wasn't there. But I know this, if you ever come across her path, don't lose it, she's the best thing you will ever meet though I must warn you, she's not easy to approach. Carry a dagger or something. And a box of fresh Oreos would definitely help.
Nevertheless whatever consequences, I still am and will be hers forever. She's my luv and that's the way it's going to stay."
The Blood Brothers, Bright Eyes, Hot Hot Heat, Interpol, Joey McIntyre, The Killers, Mika, Mr. Big, New Kids On The Block, OK Go, Paolo Nutini,The Raconteurs, Say Hi To Your Mom, The Scissor Sisters, The Shins, The Strokes, Tapes 'N Tapes, The Unicorns, The Vines
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"The question is, between the existance that lies beyond the wall and us, which one is the prison?"
...Honestly, I'd like to know the answer. And I want someone to tell me, because I'm sick of trying and having to find things I can't find. My eyes are tired of glaring. My brain is tired of thinking. I am tired of caring.
I'm sick of arguing and having to feel bad about myself. I'm sick of how my beliefs keep getting ripped out from me and end up leaving me confused. It's happened way too many times...and I just want it to end. I don't care when, but I want to be assured that it'll end.
Because I really don't think I can take it anymore. Because I can't exactly tell if it's worth surviving through. ...Because I don't know what else to do.
I've been so frustrated for these past few days to the point that I want to strangle someone for breathing too loudly. I wanted to shoot someone in the head for opening the door too fast. ...And there's no telling what I wanted to do to the person with the loud cell-phone ring tone.
I tried looking at the window while it rained; tried to find out why people enjoy it so much, how it calmed them and made them forget all their troubles.
I got bored. I got frustrated.
...And for some reason, I wanted to see someone die in front of me. I needed the torture, I needed the screams. Though I truly feel that if I did see someone be murdered in front of me at that moment, I'd turn apathetic.
I think I need that. After all, I'm sick of emotions.**GAME SPOILERS!** for .hack//G.U., Tales Of The Abyss
Ara, Kat and her sister Camille stayed over at my house from May 18 (Fri AM) 'til May 20 (Sun PM). It was way beyond fun. We've been laughing our asses off for at least a few hours in total. Kat and Camille's dad became a bastard and had to send them home on Saturday, but Ara stayed.
You'd think girl sleep-overs are made up of doing each other's hair, nails, dressing up, giggling about guys...and you're half-right. But mostly, our sleep-over was spent in front of the TV, PS2 controller in someone's hand. Either that, or fiddling with a camera and making fun. I'll talk about that first.
On Friday, me and mom picked up Ara, Kat and Camille from Grilla and went back to my house. We immediately opened the PS2 and I ordered Kat and Camille to help me with my Tales Of The Abyss (Bandai Namco) game. I mean, I'm not really lost with it, I'm just lazy.
After a while, we got tired of my account (and my refusal to use the 'Free Run' skill) and went to Kat's, where she said she'd show us some scenes. We were then addicted to gambling, making Tear a waitress, and looking for "My Fat Guy" (as Kat calls the man who shows you important scenes). And we looked for Peony, who I am officially in love with.
Then we chose to try my other games (ones I bought the day prior) like Eragon (where Garrett voices Murtagh) and Romancing Saga (by Square Enix). They looked through my rack and asked me about a certain game, the first PS2 game I bought, YS: The Ark Of Naphishtim.
Before they could put it in, I bluntly told them that the game sucked. The first boss appears when you know nothing about battles, and your physical damage amounts to one or is ineffective. I hated it. But they managed to make it seem one of the funniest games ever.
First, we watched the opening scenes and made fun of the girl. We voiced-over her and made her into this ditzy blonde. And we also made fun of the main character. And the actual fun part was when we videoed it. (I uploaded them and gave the CD to Ara. I texted her to put it on YouTube.)
We find rape, sex with elves, alcoholism, incest and homosexuality funny. If you don't, we couldn't care less. :)
After that, we decided to go on a movie marathon, watching Jackass The Movie, Interview With A Vampire, some of Pirates Of The Carribean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl and a VCD compilation of a few Jackass episodes before we all fell asleep.
Anyway, for Saturday, we decided to got o the mall and watch Shrek The Third. This is where it gets "girly". Me and Ara tried to do Sanjaya's Ponyhawk but our hair was too long (even if I cut some of mine), so they just look like a line of ponytails. Kat and Camille refused, but we wouldn't let them get away with it.
Kat was looking for my kimono (it's a blue, Japanese-printed silk kimono, ending down to the ankles) and she swore she'd wear it the whole time. It was, frankly, the weirdest. Camille decided to wear my Mickey Mouse/PoTC Hat because it matched her shirt, and that pirate mice are cool.
Anyway, me and Ara just wore black and some ripped up shorts with knee-high socks. We also had some eyeliner on and TONS of accessories. And may I remind you, they were all wearing my socks! (I was wearing my striped B&W socks; Ara wore my striped purple and pink socks; Kat was wearing my striped blue and black socks; Camille was wearing my vertically striped rainbow&black socks...all striped! :D)
Uh, we went to get 3 studio pics. I'll post pics of it next time. We also saw our Computer teacher. She looked at me and Ara normally, but when she saw the Mickey Mouse ears and the kimono, she was freaked out.
Moving on. The movie was okay. But while we were lining up for tickets, some guy tapped Kat on the shoulder and asked for something. I thought I heard him say he wanted us to buy him tickets, but then I realized that he wanted to take a picture of us.
Asked why, he just said he admired our courage to wear something so ridiculous. To which we weren't offended, but more of agreed (We were lunatics!). It was really funny. We kinda liked the attention. You get used to everyone staring after a while. Or perhaps we deserve the attention. :)
But there was a woman who walked by us while we were standing next to the escalator. She's like, "Why did they decide to stand here, of all places?!" and when she got on, she kept looking at us. I kept looking at her, too. And when she looked back one last time, I shouted, "That's right, stare!"
Anyway, we walked over to Sta. Lucia (we were in Big R) and bought some more games. Kat & Camille absolutely recommended .hack//G.U. and so I bought it. Ara bought some PS1 games. Anyway, we also went to Comic Alley.
I bought way too much. I spent 250 bucks on a Death Note notebook (below) and some DN posters. Hahaha. Camille bought a plastic Naruto kunai. Why, I have no idea. @_@
We went back to Big R and left Kat and Camille to be picked up by their dad an hour later. Mom was there so me and Ara went home and decided to play this PS1 game she bought, where you run a hospital. We have a CD of that, but it's old. Anyway, it was fun. Haha. We got far.
Afterwards, we decided to play .hack//G.U. (vol 1). It was so awesome! Haha! Like a real online game! Man, it was so cool. And hot men galore~ (Kuhn, Endrance and Tri-Edge specifically for me)! Haha. Love it. We were so addicted after that. We played .hack// until Ara fell asleep and I got bored from having no one to laugh with.
So Sunday, the first thing we did was to play the Hospital game again (which I messed up because I accidentaly loaded a game and not save. Meaning, I had to repeat a whole level again...which was total crap). It took a long time, so we had to wait.
Ara wanted to go to mass with the folks, so I was pushed into going as well. We decided to leave the Hospital game on. Anyway, church...I escaped again and decided to fiddle with my belt (wrapping it around my leg for boredom... -_-) and walk around this long, hot slope until it was over. We saw some batchmates there, too.
We got back to the Hospital game and found that we won (the first time we did that level, we fell asleep from boredom while we waited...then I messed up. KARMA! Gah!). So we also finished the next level, which was...money consuming. And all the doctors sucked. We had too many surgeons......anyway, you don't care. :D
So we played .hack// again...haha. So fun. We did so until she was to go home. Mom drove her back to Grilla and she met up with her dad. The end. Hahaha! Fun fun.The whole post is in one big .png image. Please wait for it to load. Thanks.
Let's do some question and answer, shall we? I'll begin. Q: WHO IS THE BIGGEST, SKANKIEST WHORE THIS SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE? A: LINDSAY DEE LOHAN (a.k.a. the biggest, skankiest whore this side of the universe)
Okay, listen bitch. You can't sing, you can't act, and you're as skinny as the stripper pole in your bedroom. If you were twice as smart as you are, you'd still be as dumb as a log. And you must have been born in a fucking highway because that's where most accidents happen, after all!
Now...KEEP THE FUCK AWAY FROM GARRETT, FAG.
(I pity Garrett. Being around you is like having cancer of the soul. And he looks bored aside from being in pain. Poor, poor, beautiful, innocent, poor, Garrett.)
I went to Boracay. I'm too lazy to explain the trip properly, so I'll just share it in the way I shared it to Monica. Here goes.
"See, the way to go there is like this: Car for 2-3 hours, then Roro...y'know, the ships that can hold the cars, for 2 hours. After that, we'll drive to another boat and leave the car. It'll take 4 hours. Then we'll be in Mindoro, so we'll take a small boat to the actual island of Boracay...going through all that trouble, why didn't we just go via airplane? We left at 10pm.
Anyway, going there was okay. I slept in the car. I didn't sleep on the first boat, nor did I even sit down, because I was talking with dad about the plans. He made me cry. That bastard. Heh. But no, it was okay...he supports it, and he even silently said that if we have the money by then, we'll pay for it if I don't get the scholarship. Compared to mom, who flat-out disagreed on paying.
So after that, it was around 5am already. The next boat was supposed to be at 6, but turns out that wasn't true, and the next was at 11. What the fuck are we going to do for 6 hours? Sleep, of course. So we checked into this small motel/resort/place called Woody's Place (Australian owner) nearby. He offered 3-hour stays for people who were waiting for the boat. I fell on the bed and slept like a rock for the whole time. I didn't care if the place was shabby.
So we got onto the boat, and guess what I did? I slept. I woke up to a movie, though. Some Jessica Alba flick. Into The Blue, if I'm right (co-starring Paul Walker). I ended up watching because I was bored and sleep didn't seem as interesting.
But anyway, we got to the bangka, and it was less than 30-minutes, so I was awake. We got to the hotel/resort around 4pm. It was called Hey! Jude which my dad said was probably after the Beatles song. Who knows. Anyway, for some stupid reason, my dad, who claims to have been awake the whole trip to Boracay, pushed us into walking on the beach. Dude, ever heard of SLEEP? Or, uh, at least resting. Anyway.
So we walked the beach. I was irritated because it was boring and hot and they were slow. So I walked faster. I got really far and decided to just sit on this bean bag on the beach and draw on the sand. We got back after a while, but I wasn't done with my drawing. The cretins.
Anyway, yeah. Most of the stay there (May 7-10) was just with me sleeping, eating, complaining about the weather, repeating Something Vague (by Bright Eyes) and Shine (by Mr. Big) enough time to have heard every little detail on their voice. I think I gained weight. Fuck. I briefly got to go online on the 8th. The internet cafe charges 70 bucks an hour. FTW?
I got a tattoo just before we left. It's all spiral and stuff. I wanted the OK Go logo, which was smaller and way simpler, but they wanted to charge more for it. Eh. I feel hardcore. xD (I'll post a pic of it next time...I'm lazy. Mom suggested to use a cast over it when school comes and pretend it's broken. Then I can draw on the cast). Cool.
I was also unlucky in terms of cuisine. In the rare moment of stars aligning, I decided to try new things. And they all tasted horrible. Gahd! But let's talk about the way BACK. Oh my fuck, you can't believe how horrible the way back was.
The bangka was okay, y'know, nothing special. But we reached the pier around 3. The boat we wanted to go on leaves at 4, but there's another leaving right now. So we took that one. But...frankly, that was the worst mistake we've made...ever.
So it was called Maharlika. The 1st Roro we took on the way to Boracay was a Star Lite. The boat with the Alba movie was Montenegro. Tita Meli suggested to only use the Star Lite and Montenegro ships. But we didn't mind at the time. So anyway, the crowds were horrible. So many fucking people. I was protecting the new tattoo. As in...SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE.
Anyway. So it was hot. We decided to move to another room with lots of people, but it was colder...slightly. We sat behind the airconditioner, which was the only seat available, but the air didn't even reach us. There were screeching kids in front, behind, around us.
I was irritated as hell for the rest of the trip. My iPod was as loud as it can get because an annoying instructional/religious video/movie was showing. I think The Island (starring Ewan McGregor) and Blade Trinity 2 was on after the life-jacket instructions. Thankfully, my mom called the attention of the guy to turn the volume down.
Anyway, I really can't explain how fucking bad it was. Turns out, even if it left an hour early, it will reach the other pier the same time as Star Lite...because this one's slow. Hoooolyyyy fuuuuck. Gah. Even sleeping wasn't fun here. And there was no food. NO. FOOD.
I was annoyed once and slammed my fist on the table, which my brother, who was deathly seasick, was leaning and sleeping on. His head jerked up and stared at me with bloodshot eyes. o_o Hahaha. Anyway. I death glared every kid who looked at me on that trip. Like, they lean next to my table and stare at me while I doodled on my notebook. I death glared them until they get it and go. I was that irritated.
It was 5 hours later. Finally, it was over.
I was glad because we were going to get back to the car (and I'd take the car seat over the boat's seat anyday). Kids were going around selling mineral water and other things in front of the boat. Dad went ahead, so I was left with mom (my brother was missing). This kid was selling something to us and when we ignored him, he laughed loudly and said "Haha, fat!" to either me or my mom, I don't care.
I stopped dead in my tracks and looked back at him. He was still looking and grinning, and ho-lyfuck, I just wanted to kick him so hard in the balls right then and there. I death glared him and wanted to shout, "What, you talking to me? Did you say something?! You want to say it again?! Alright, say one more word and I'm going to take what you're selling and throw it into the ocean and then kick you so hard 'til you kiss the moon! Just-fucking-try me!"
I really hate myself for not doing so.
But anyway, I was in the car. After that, the Roro boat again. That was horrible, too. I mean, there was a nicely airconditioned room, but there were so many people and they were lying down on the seats, thus taking up more space than necessary. The chairs were afwul and I couldn't sleep.
The back of the chair was too tall to sit sidewards and lean towards it comfortably, but as short enough to not hold your neck up right. The back of the chair in front of you was too far away to lean on. There wasn't an armrest. It was so uncomfortable. There wasn't any food either. And I was quite tired by then...around 2am at the time. Or so. I dunno.
Anyway...yeah. it's over now. I never want to go there again."
So...the end. :DNow and again it seems worse than it is, but mostly the view is accurate. You see your breath in the air as you climb up the stairs, to that coffin you call your apartment. And you sink in your chair, brush the snow from your hair, and drink the cold away. And you are not really sure what you're doing this for, but you need something to fill up the days; a few more hours.
There's a dream in my brain that just won’t go away. It's been stuck there since it came a few nights ago. And I’m standing on a bridge, in the town where I lived as a kid with my mom and my brothers. And then the bridge disappears and I’m standing on air with nothing holding me. And I hang like a star, fucking glow-in-the-dark, for all those starving eyes to see. Like the ones we’ve wished on.
Now I’m confused. Is this depth really you? Do these dreams have any meaning?
No. No, I think it is more like a ghost that has been following us both. Something vague that we're not seeing...something more like a feeling.
...*sigh*RE: E-mail to the University of Nebraska (Omaha) Financial Aid & Scholarships Her reply was confusing. Hahaha. I mean, I just said frankly that I wantd to know the available scholarhips that I could be considered in (as in for: not a US citizen, no relatives living in NE, has visa, international student, for college), and what grades I need to aim for. She sent me this link on where to apply for undergraduate international students.
While it's close, it's not exactly what I needed. I don't plan to apply yet (as in enroll), as I don't have SAT results (stupid country doesn't hold it here officially), and it will be some time before I actually get close to taking the TOEFL test, which I'm sure I'd ace. Tchaa. Like, dude. It's ME we're talking about here. I'll send her a reply next time. I'm lazy. _________________________________________________________________________________
Gracie just called me a blunt, perverted, emotional cry-baby. ZOMG! Hey, asshat! ...I love you too. ;P
And yeah...I have to go back to breastfeeding Julian. See you, perverts. <3Hi kids. It's 1:30am, and the first of May. I just finished watching Rock Star (starring Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Aniston), and it's totally awesome. But it made me realize a couple of things:
1) Dreams are attainable... 2) ...Don't let your family convince you otherwise 3) Don't be hardcore if you can't handle hardcore 4) If you're a rock star, stay single 5) Mark Wahlberg is always sexy (gangster (Four Brothers), assasin (Shooter) and rock star) 6) I still don't like Jennifer Aniston
The first two are really important as of right now.
I'm pretty sure I meantioned it, but I plan to attend college abroad (most probably the US). I really feel serious about it, but when I actually told my mom about it some time ago, she specifically said she won't pay for it. Basically, I was crushed and said there was no other way (because if anyone knows me, my grades aren't that well due to laziness). Sure I'm willing to work my butt of the remaining years of highschool to at least try and get a scholarship, but will it matter? Like, how can I redeem myself, after 9 years of laziness?
I then talked to Ms. Mendoza (Arcilla, if anyone remembers). She was my 6th grade Reading teacher, and I thought she was cool. So anyway, I asked her the general things (she's the only teacher in my YM).
When's school going to start? June 18th Do you know what level are you teaching? Yes. Is it... my level? No. :( Then which one? No one's. I'm resigning.
So...there. I found out that she's leaving to get a corporate job (to "gain the right to have kids" as she said). She's still teaching, though. Just...y'know, not in school. She explained that she wants to save money so that she can give her kids a variety of options: music, arts, etc. I told her that I wanted her as my mom. She said that we'd still bicker if that was so. Like, it's a parent-teen rule. I said something, I forget what, and she replied, "Well, when you're 25 or 30, you'll be thinking differently."
And then I mentioned my plans. I don't plan to stick around in this craphole until I'm 25 or 30 to see everything I fear come to life. I don't plan to stay here. I needed the "variety of options" (thus me saying that I wanted her as my mom). She told me that universities don't look at middle-school grades (which I highly doubt, but I'm trying to keep positive). She also said that no one should tell me to quit a long-time dream...
And I really appreciated it. It's not...y'know, sentimental or anything. No one cried (although I feel a little teary-eyed right now). But...I just needed the reassurance. The reassurance that it was possible. That's all I needed to try and reach for it again. I mean, it might sound stupid, but that's all I needed to know. IF IT WAS STILL POSSIBLE. I'm willing to work hard for it. I'm willing to not give up. I'm willing to suffer and wait. Just let me have it. Let me have nothing else, but just give me this.
She had to go then; last thing she said was: "Love the socks, Ria. Always did. :)"
And with that, I gained the courage to look for scholarships (I'd like to know as early as now so I know what grades to look out for). My first choice, being the University of Nebraska (please don't ask why. I don't feel like explaining). I e-mailed this official person with my info to see if there's anything for me. And she replied. I'll tell you about it next time. ___________________________________________________________________________
Anyway, lotsa new downloads: Boston : Augustana (*love*) Who I Am Hates Who I've Been : Relient K (*love*) False Pretense : Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (currently on loop on my iPod) Face Down : Red Jumpsuit apparatus This Is Not An Exit : Saves The Day Oh It Is Love : Hellogoodbye Five Minutes To Midnight : Boys Like Girls Heels Over Head : Boys Like Girls (quite catchy) Death Goes To Disco : Goodnight Nurse Give It To You : Jordan Knight (loop loop loop)
My sister absolutely hates the Give It To You video, especially the sweater Jordan's wearing. Haha. I dunno. For me, it's quite catchy. And kinda nice, I guess, aside from the pop-ness. And the lyrics are totally...whoa. "Show me where and I'll taste you there." WTFZ?!
If you don't know Jordan, you probably weren't born yet. He's from New Kids On The Block (*squeal*), a boy band from the late 1980s. I was just born when they broke up, but I had my obsessed relatives to fill me in on everything. Bwahaha. Another from NKOTB is Joey McIntyre, the hottest man on the planet (he was also the cutest kid evarrrz).
But my sister said the one from NKOTB that I liked as a baby was Jon Knight (Jordan's big bro). She siad I'd lie down beside her when she was reading a magazine, and I'd always point to him if his picture's on a page. Isn't it cool? But yes, he was quite cute.
Anyway, I was briefly addicted to 80's boy-bands (ZOMG WHAM! BWAHAHAhaha...no, Wham still sucks. George Michael's a fag. :P) earlier this year. And...I guess it's not going away. XD (Yes, Ravy, you have permission to squeeze the guts out of me). Whoosh...anyway...yeah. That's it.
<3 ya'lls! *sticks tongue out like how Mark Wahlberg did* \m/ \m/ \m/
ps. i like ween0rz
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